I’ve been doing some research for another project I’ve been working on, and came across a few blog posts on what men want (sexually attractive beings) and why women are smart to give it to them. This felt very one-sided and puts women in the situation of whoring themselves for a man’s affections. I struggle with ‘the way things are/the way things should be’ and gross generalizations. The blog was attempting to deal with “The Rules”, more or less and that women should be physically attractive and feminine to attract men. I get that, and for the most part agree - probably more for reasons more complicated than what some people think.
Men are visual creatures, there’s no denying that. I’m very well aware of the Biology of Beauty and believe in it. Men want healthy looking women - attraction to them is how reproduction works. Just as you don’t want the soggy cucumbers in the produce section, they don’t want soggy women. OK. Got it. Been preached that more than enough.
I’d like to think that they are slightly more evolved than their neanderthal forefathers and look for more than just physical characteristics in women. I’d like to think that looking good gets your foot in the door on date one, but personality and your contributions to the relationship keep you in. On the contrary, I also believe that you aren’t allowed to let yourself go once you’ve secured a relationship, but “not letting yourself go” should have a hell of a lot less to do with whether you think your partner should leave (how insecure, and newsflash, if he wants to leave, he will leave, regardless of what you do). Not letting yourself go has far more to do with looking good to make yourself feel good. When you feel good, you project that into your interactions with others. Case closed - and my entire philosophy to style consulting.
I’m a proponent for femininity and fabulousness. I think injecting small doses of celebrity in your own life: your own signature perfume, dressing for your body type and splurging on a key item, etc. serves to celebrate oneself. Celebrating yourself in the mirror and saying “hey, I’m desirable. I look good!” is an instant ego boost, and it shows.
I admittedly put on high heels and makeup on for my fiancé. I’m excited to look good and be a bit more soft for him - he’s very special to me and yes, I seek his approval of my physical self, but guess what? He does the same for me. It’s reciprocal.
With that said, treat yourself. Dolling up a little just for you goes a long way.
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